Lockdown

Do you have a feeling that this lockdown was some kind of a destiny for all of us who got burned out, who were focused on the things not so much important from this angle?

That’s my feeling. The feeling that I have to reset my life.

I was exhausted from work. Was working sometimes even for 16h per a day. Classes, DJ-ing, Jam sessions… Few times I had such a big headaches that I had a feeling that I was about to get a stroke. My brain was buzzing inside of my head. It wasn’t easy, I needed money.. money.. MONEY.. And now, what’s important in your life? Money? Really?! Fuck that! People are losing lives. Coronavirus took the whole world in the grip that strong that everyone is struggling to survive in their own way. Musicians, entertainers and artists got the first hit. People are in their homes, losing their minds, eating rice and getting depressed. This is a test of sobriety, mental and physical strength, this is a test of humanity.

Our planet is breathing finally. We are the poison and that’s a sad truth. I know I am also the poison and I know that after I leave this world life will continue. It’s hard to accept that, but that should make me stronger and live my life in its fullest potential. For me, the lockdown is like a charging system. My body and soul are preparing for a greater period of my life. I know that I’m about to do even bigger things for my small world. I want to become a better person, to be more kind, to use my experience and be wise. I don’t want to spend my life working and chasing money. I don’t want to lose any moment I have a chance to spend with my family and people who are important to me. I don’t want to be ignorant about my mental and physical health. I want to be AWARE! I want to take a moment and breathe and sit and observe! I want to see, touch, smell and feel the world around me. I don’t want to chase something and miss everything. I don’t want to miss my life, because I am the only person who has it.

I wish victims of coronavirus had a chance to live, not to be an example to us who are surviving. I wish they are awake. I wish that we all come to a better mind set, save this environment we have.. save water, air, eco system, animals and people. I don’t want anyone in danger anymore, I don’t want people to spread hate, I want love to be shared, families to be made, wars to be DONE.

At least let me imagine what kind of a world that would be..

2 thoughts on “Lockdown

  1. My BEAUTIFUL sister ❤
    I witnessed your running around the city from one job to another, giving it your all, and longing for at least few hours break… You needed this break as much as everyone who was overworked, and that is unfortunately majority of the world. We all need to reset and heal ourselves, our home, our planet. I miss you ❤

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  2. I love having my family as close as they are now. There are other aspects in which I realize life is actually better. It’s definitely been an opportunity to focus on what’s important. As I write this everything I wrote seems a little cliche….but I think it’s important to acknowledge that it hasn’t all been misery. As a trauma therapist, I know the first thing to go out the window when we are stressed is perspective. Thank you for creating the opportunity for us to reflect on such matters. -Meira

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