Sitting on my couch, drinking my last glass of wine for tonight. I sort out the pictures, all the files, imaginary problems and put them in one folder- PAST!
It was a nice day today. I heard my voice on the radio and I spend it on a sunshine, in Remraam, with my new co-workers, breathing the new air. Breading something that tastes like some better days. Things that fills you up with HOPE. We were working on a project. All of us knew whats the part they should take care of. There was a good energy between us and we were making a progress every minute. We had coffee, then soup, then coffee again, stayed there for 7 hours until we finished what we wanted to. So good feeling of being productive.
This will be a good thing.
Few days ago, I had a performance with my keytar finally. That’s my baby. I got a call from a local producer/studio owner- Nash. “Come, don’t be shy!” that’s how it sounded to me in the moment. I picked up my gear and had the best night in last 2 months. I missed the stage so badly. I did whatever I could, I sang the lyrics I didn’t know, I did my best to stay longer even though I had some classes in the morning and I was already very tired of running around (my mom was here on a vacation). I totally broke my voice, I spent the batteries of my keytar, I got so many smiles and music around me from Iva, Julia, Adam and Rino, I got the video and support from my friend Omar and I left home with happiness in my purse.
Now I’m preparing myself for a new stage in my life… And backstage 😉
Verko was the photographer that made me to get out from my small dark room (read-black thoughts), with his flash, camera and enthusiasm. I needed to put my famous smile on my face for the good picture. I did this and that move, I had this and that hair style, I did my make up, I did my red lipstick, I wore my red coat. I did it!
Inside I was crying.
I was screaming! I was laughing! I was regretting! I was forgiving… I did it all in those 30min how long it took us to take the perfect shoot for my new press kit. I left it all behind.
I’m letting it go. I’m forgiving you. You did not know better. I couldn’t do better. You’re doing better now. I’m doing better now. And that’s how it goes. Everything is good.
All of this.. It sounds good.